Friday, June 13, 2008

The Battle of the Bra

I wear panties, well "underwear". Same thing right? That's what I thought, but apparently it's not. I mean do guys really expect you to be wearing the baddest draws in the universe before they go in for the kill? I haven't had any problems thus far, but that of course is as a result of my bomb ass genes and hairstylist lol/jk, but really why must I adorn my ass with scratchy lace when either, A, someone else is going to take them off for me, B, I'm going to take them off to pee or do the number 2 (yes i do it too lol), or C, I'm going to cover them up with a hella good outfit? My pantie experience has haunted me since high school when a number of my high school chums (all guys with tattoos and dreds) opened my underwear drawer and hysterically laughed at all of my horrible, yet comfortable, white children's underwear! But I still haven't changed drastically, maybe a few boyshorts here, a little bit of aerie there, and some vickie PINK on occasion, but none have really gotten me out of my pantie-rut. So I have decided to let you into my underwear-no-excuse me my PANTIE drawer, while i revamp my downtown disaster zone (that sounds like a venarial disease nickname or something.)

I don't even own a thong!
right...i know

problem one: i call panties, draws or underwear...apparently my "view" of the pantie is too casual and I must change it in order to take the pantie seriously...because this is more serious than Darfur from now on they are PANTIES ("Simple Psychology Watson!")

problem two: i stereotype the pantie...the lace really isn't itchy, i tried it on, i just ASSUMED and made an ass out of you and me, right? I must also realize that there is a specific type of under...excuse me PANTIE for every lovely pink cupcake filled lady!

problem three: this is probably the biggest problem of them all...I don't wear a bra, i know i know, I should know better, but I either free-breast (girl version of free-ball lol) or wear camisoles, they are so friggin comfortable, you know? OK well maybe you don't, but I hate bras because they are the most uncomfortable things EVER, but the rule says they have to match your panties so I guess I have to change that...but i'm sure I can find a loophole somewhere...hmmmmmm (pictured left, the bra i want

the first step is admitting you have a problem, the second is addressing it in your online blogger account. stay tuned for pantie updates. yay?


Gallardo Bastardo said...

If a man, slides you or hesitates to get in bed with you because of your drawers or because your bra and panties don't match, he might be a little bit gay. Like, if he loves Plies and dudes that take their shirt off alot? Yeah, that's not too hetero.

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