Get Off Her Vagina (literally for some of you): The Paris Hilton Edition

WTF! Instead of the normal “Shots Fired in Baltimore County” or “The War in Iraq Continues” flashing across my screen I see “ Paris Hilton Just Released From Jail.” I am so damn tired of this coke whore being on every channel and on the front of every magazine. Why is she famous? O yes let me see for a porn tape, a tiff with her best friend Nicole R., and a Chihuahua. I can find that type of the chick down the street! She is a skinny blonde chick that hangs unflattering designers smocks on her thin frame that she bought with daddy’s Amex, yet little prepubescent teeny boppers worship her. She has a book, a television show, a hair weave line, and fragrance. O and don’t forget One Night In Paris hahahaha. Paris Hilton should not be every blonde little girls idol. Furthermore she needs to be an example of what not to be when you grow up.

During her stay in jail for like 23 days she cried of sleepless nights, how horrible jail was, and her “condition.” This is a load of shit! When Paris was released from jail she said she would reform her ways by staying out of the club and doing charity work. A bunch of b.s. in my opinion. She has yet to do any charity work and still shakes her no having ass in the hottest clubs in L.A. Well she has already shown her vagina to the whole damn world, but still get off her vagina!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Doe Chee$e

CONCERTS IN RICHMOND, VA!!!!! MARY J., JANELLE MONAE, AND ERYKAH BADU

MARY J. BLIGE:

Tuesday, July 27, 2007

Richmond Coliseum @ 7:30pm

Richmond, VA

TICKETS STILL ON SALE: $78.oo

http://www.ticketmaster.com/

ERYKAH BADU:

Friday, August 17, 2007

@ Kanawha Plaza in Richmond, VA

Price: $36.20

http://www.ticketmaster.com/

JANELLE MONAE:

August 31, 2007

@VCU (Go RAMS Go, we beat DUke!!!)
show starts @ 4:00 pm

we will keep you informed of ticket prices!!!

http://www.vcu.edu/

http://www.janelle-monet.net/

Check Her Style: Janelle Monae

Don't sleep on this chick, she is certified FIRE! Not only are her songs such as Violet Stars Happy (which has been on my Myspace page for about a month because I can't get enough!!!) innovative, but so is her fearless sense of style. Donned in black and white, who else do you know can pull off a first grade private school staple, Saddle Shoes! Wow!!! Her eclectic style paired with her soulful sounds can only conjure up one thought in my mind. HIT! Not your Beyonce or Rihanna, this Janelle Monae isn't a marketing strategy she is herself. Bright colors, natural hair, and funky accessories adorn her frame. Like I said don't sleep on this one mannnnnnn!

To get her look try:

Natural Hair
Saddle shoes duh
A Chanel inspired head to toe black and white outfit
Bold accessories i.e. a men's tie or glasses
Skinny black pants

-Doe Chee$e

Spotlight On: Patricia Field

Four words....."Sex and the City". Everyone watched it for the fashion happenings (don't front you know you did) of those four city girls, but who was really behind the styling of the show? Patricia Fields has been the stylist behind so many of the movies that start fashion trends, such as The Devil Wears Prada. Now Miss Fields ( not the cookie lady hehe) has a boutique in New York and an awesome website. The website, http://www.patriciafield.com/ carries everything from home decor to clothes.The website is a little pricey but its worth it. You can find Betsey Johnson, White Trash Jewelry, and her own designs on the site. The website also features the latest trends such as colored jeans. The silver Cadillac bag is one of my personal favs, along with the vintage Burberry shades and the crushed Budweiser necklace. Go check it out, I'm sure you will love it!

-Doe Chee$e

The Underground: Janelle Monae

Let me just start by saying that when I heard about Janelle Monae from one of our readers I was eager to check her out. I did assume that she would be a carbon copy of Amy Winehouse or Corrine Bailey Rae, but I was in for a huge surprise. As I type this I have listened to Janelle Monae's song "Peachtree Blues" about 5 times in a row. I can not seem to get enough of her 1940's Billie Holiday type feel. As a lover of old movies and all things vintage, I especially cling to this song. Her new albums are entitled Metropolis, and will be released in "suites". They contain songs with techno beats, traditional R&B, Blues, Musical Theatre inspired songs, doo wop, soul, and even things that remind you of happy-go-lucky-Disney. A record that holds this much diversity is worth listening to. If you think Miss. Monae looks a little familiar she was the girl in Outkast's "Morris Brown" video with the crazy hair do. Her appearance is not a coincidence, Janelle is signed to Big Boi's Purple Ribbon Label in collaboration with Wondaland Arts Society (http://www.wondaland.blogspot.com/) , who knew a label could give an artist this much creative freedom-there really is a God lol!!! Her inspirations are as diverse as her sound, they include Bjork, Fiona Apple, Janet Jackson, Madonna, and of course Outkast.

Janelle's story of discovery is in traditional form, like that of a fairy tale: Young country girl from Kansas moves to the Big Apple after high school, attends The American Musical and Dramatics Academy (AMDA), graduates, moves to the ATL, and gets discovered by Big Boi after singing a politically controversial song, entitled Dear Mr. President...well maybe her story is a bit different, who knew SCAM-DA, i mean AMDA could produce a new super talented star? Janelle Monae is truly my new favorite "newbie" on the music scene. Visit her website http://www.janellemonae.com/ for tour dates and travel information!

Check out these songs:
Peachtree Blues
Metropolis
Violet Stars Happy Hunting

Janelle Monae Information:
http://www.singersroom.com/
http://www.myspace.com/janellemonae
http://www.janellemonae.com/
http://www.janelle-monae.net/

http://www.imeem.com/

Metropolis: Suite 1 "The Chase" IN STORES AUGUST 21!!!!!!!!!!!

"Queenie Valentine says Butt Buddies are Fun!!",

love the infamous,

Kimmie E

Get off his d**k: Lil' Wayne

Weezy F. Baby aka Lil'Wayne aka The Birdman Jr. aka puts-out-a-mixtape-everyday-and-drinks-cough-syrup-while-doing-it is frankly getting on my nerves. Now i love Weezy just as much as the next person, his delivery is fire, his freestyle is decent, and he can make a punch line out of anything. But what's with all the hype? We have been promised a Carter III and instead are blessed with mixtape after mixtape, but the thing that really gets my gears about Mr. Baby is that he keeps saying that he is the best!!! WTF? The best? Complete and TOTAL HIP HOP BLASPHEME!!!! I am a Jay fan through and through and I get down with the lyrical genious which is Nas, but to say that Lil'Wayne is the greatest rapper alive today is ignorant. I mean come on Wayne you named you effin album The Carter, WTF? Here's what the cocky rapper said to Complex Mag
“

"I don’t like what he’s [Jay-Z] saying about how he had to come back because hip-hop’s dead and we need him,” Weezy told Complex. “What the fuck do you mean? If anything it’s reborn, so he’s probably having a problem with that. You left on a good note, and all of the artists were saying, ‘Yo, this is Jay’s house. He’s the best.’ Now he comes back and still thinks it’s his house. But we fucked bitches in your bed already. It’s not your house anymore and I’m better than you.“

he continued his bashing by singling out Clipse and Pharell

“I don’t see no fucking Clipse. This is a fucking legend you’re talking to right here. How many years them niggas been around? Who the fuck is Pharrell? Do you really respect him? That nigga wore BAPE and y’all thought he was weird. I wore it and y’all thought it was hot. What I gotta go in the store and say, ‘I like these colors but I can’t buy them because other rappers wore them?"

Not only is Lil' Wayne being cocky and ignorant. He doesn't even know what he's talking about. No one hates on Pharell's style, in actuality he's a bigger fashion icon than Wayne will ever be. Have you been featured on the pages of Harper's Bazzar? No. You haven't so shut ur face! And Jay..well i mean lets look at stats. Jay has been in the game since the early 90's, hes' a hip hop mogul, president of Def Jam, one of the richest black men in the world, his name alone symbolizes the growth of hip hop as a genre, a business, and empire. Now lets look at Lil' Wayne: He's the president of Cash Money, and what artist are signed to him? Oh yeah..Currency? and who else? well i can't think of any. Secondly you kissed BABY on the LIPS. This isn't the Godfather, you are not Italian, and you are not apart of any MOB!!!! Lastly, who died and made you the king of anything? You JUST STARTED making hit records, and your hits ARE NOT AS BIG AS JAYS. You are not RICH you are HOOD RICH and your assests are in BAPE hoodies and played out Ed Hardy shirts. You are a GOOD RAPPER a GREAT RAPPER, but not the best, so keep it the fuck moving...and if you wanna bring it closer to home think about Common, Talib, Rakim, Mos Def, Nas, or even new comer Lupe Fiasco! They shit on him lyrically and are deeper than BAPES, money, crack, and head-the topics that "the best rapper alive" tends to focus on. I mean Jay might not be at his best now, because Kingdom Come was a huge disappointment, but his verse against WAyne is classic in every form. Il end with a Jay quote:"men lie, women lie, numbers don't"- Jay-Z

END OF STORY

Crack Fiend: Charm Braclets

Basically charm bracelets are like crack, you buy one charm then you break your pockets on trying another all so the bracelet could be complete. On a recent visit with my aunt i had a revelation unlike any other, that I should restart a charm bracelet. Hers consisted of a Chanel charm (real of course, duh), an earring she lost, this cool little giraffe, a few things of my grandmothers, and alot of other stuff. Each item was permanently fastened on the bracelet, and every time she found something she liked for the bracelet, she takes it to her jeweler and has them make it into a charm. Talk about creativity. Now i won't even lie, I am the owner of a Juicy Couture (which is soooo not "Couture") charm bracelet. The problem with these bracelets is that EVERYONE has them, making it completely unoriginal and too toooooo trendy. The point of a charm bracelet is to make it your own. So go around your house and look for random ish you like and go turn it into a charm, its a lot cheaper than paying 50 big ones for a charm your ex best friend has. You can use the Juicy bracelet as a start off point if you'd like and can also have the charms made detachable so you can mix and match the bracelet. SO GO CHARM HUNTING!!!!

Spotlight On: Sidekick Zante (Slide), Sidekick?? and the Sidekick X

Sidekick Zante(Slide): So it seems as though the geniuses at Danger/Sharp that mass produce all the sidekicks, have now created a new version of the super fly status symbol. Known as the Zante, this new kick slides instead of swivels, a feature which I will mos def. miss. The Zante seems to be the same as the three except for a few minor upgrades:

• new sounds when you slide the phone up and down
• more categories under the "settings" tab
  
• more attractive instant messaging display, but no new AIM features
• the phone is purple and the keyboard is either purple or blue
  
• smaller than the three, the screen is closer to the Sidekick ID (yuck)


• instead of typical rounded square buttons, the Zante comes complete with perfectly round circle buttons, the 3 keyboard is probably better
  
• typical sidekick reception with a few minor upgrades
  
• the speakerphone rocks, its louder, clearer, just all around better
  
• themes are now available through the catalog instead of online
  
• more downloading space
  
• a semi-better display

Word on the street is that the Zante should be ready for release as early as September 9th from T-Mobile, for an asking price of $269.00. The price, which is cheaper than the Sidekick 3 tells you that this phone in no way, shape , or form is supposed to be the heir to the Sidekick throne, meaning the Zante is NOT THE SIDEKICK 4!!!! So don't get your panties in a bunch quite yet! It's probably being used to further their market for people who could not afford the 3, or did not like the three, but did not want the crappy ID. Their website is no help of course, and does not contain the usual preview that the other sidekicks have had in the past. The Zante is apparently a collaboration between Sharp, Danger, and Motorola.

Sidekick X: Little is known about the Sidekick X, it confuses me. Apparently it is supposed to be some form of a RAZR with sleek detail and shiny casing. No one is sure on whether or not the Sidekick X RAZR is going to be a flip phone or just a metal version of the sidekick 3. The people at Danger and Motorola are collaborating again in order to appeal to an adult, more professional market because a business man flipping a sidekick just does not spell "cool". lmao

Sidekick??: The greenish looking phone up top (the one i think is the sweetest), is possibly the sidekick that is succeeding the 3. It's sleeker than the other kicks before it, but little is known about the Sidekick?? because no information has been released to the public quite yet. It will probably carry all of the upgrades that come with the Zante, and is rumored to have a better camera, video play back and recording capabilities, as well as a display that will shit on all of these. The picture above is said to be a "rendering" but it looks so real, doesn't it?

It all leaves me to think that the phone companies are on crack--why are u creating all these effin phones??? I'm not hating though, it all makes me mad excited!! I think I will stick to my 3 until the Sidekick ??? comes. This is what Verizon gets for trying to hoar us up with those pretend kicks!!! So haha!

(all information can be found at http://www.boygeniousreport.com/ and http://www.engadgetmobile.com/, and http://www.crunchgear.com/)

Check Her Style: Lily Allen

Lily Allen has hopped the pond from London to the U.S. to showcase not only her up-beat songs, but also her quirky sense of style. A girl after my own heart, Lily Allen rocks beautiful and girly dresses, neon eyeliner, and sneakers…all at the same time hehe. She is known for her bright colored fashions which ironically enough match her bubbly songs. She also fancies doorknocker earrings and collects jordans.

To get her look try:
Doorknocker earrings
A beehive hairdo
Stilettos
Voluminous tea length dresses
Jordan’s

The Naked Truth: iPhone, and why the sidekick sh*ts on it

the culprit: iPhone by AT&T wireless. FIRST of all let me start by saying that AT&T/Cingular or whatever needs to choose an effin name before i blow them up. SECONDLY, the iPhone is a piece of crap. WEll maybe i'm a hater, and i probably am, but it has so many defects, its ridiculous! You may be thinking to yourself, "it has a touch screen", but guess what, the touch screen will eventually get ur fingerprints permanantly tatted on it because of non-stop touching, and no matter how sweet it is, it doesnt work better than a normal keyboard, go figure. Being the good journalist that I am (lol). I researched the iphone, and signed up for a plan, which starts at $59.99 for 450 minutes!! What the hell am I going to do with 450 daytime minutes? In order to get my usual unlimited text messaging and internet I have to dish out an extra 40 dollars a month to AT Cingluar. Whatever. So my grand total is about 140.00 a month, plus about 500-600 dollars for the actual phone. So im paying 600 dollars for a phone that is a piece of crap, that only had free technical support for 2 years, and then you have to pay. The reason why i say that this phone is a mess, is because when u see a dumb kid with it their plan only carries about 500 minutes, and zero text messages, so in other words, they stuntin like they got money, but can't afford the plan, which is stupid. SO STOP FRONTIN!!! If your 16 years old working part time at mcdonalds you can't afford the iPHONE, DUHHHH...its merely a PROTOTYPE get that through your thick skulls!!! Plus the iPhone 2 will probably be out within the next 2 years, and your phone will officially be out of style just like the people who never upgraded to the sidekick 3...why waste your time young kids, all for the sake of being "fresh", when in actuallity you have NO MINUTES, NO TEXTS, AND PROBABLY NO SERVICE!!! its like getting the sidekick 1, who the hell even had the damn1?

verdict: a sidekick ID to get you on your feet because your dumb self is not worthy of the 2 or
3, and a promotion to assistant manager at mcdonalds (you are going to need it to pay off your outdtanding debt to cingular AT. whatever) the id can make you feel foolish for a couple days, you need the humiliation!!!

the winner: sidekick 3, by default...why? because I have one...duh